Dear My Fitness Pal,
First I want to say Thank you. Thank you for teaching me how to control my food portions. Thank you for making me think twice when craving a sweet coffee or cake from the coffee shop by telling how many calories were in them. Thank you for helping me lose the weight and balance my calorie intake and calorie outtake. With your advice, I got to my goal weight, and then some… but that is when things got a little crazy in our relationship.
I became so dependent on you that I didn’t rely on myself anymore. By depending on you, I stopped listening to my body telling me whether I was hungry or full. Emotional eating became acceptable because I “still had calories left”. I’ve realized that you really didn’t get to know me well. You are a little too “simple” to be my friend. You couldn’t tell me whether I was eating for fuel or for comfort. You made me obsess about the little things, little insignificant calories, and removed all fun out of eating. You made me spend a lot of precious time inputting data, recipes, menus when all I really needed to do listen to my body.
And since I am letting it all out now I might as well tell you. Sometimes I binged and I didn’t input it into your database. You know some days when I was “under” my calorie requirement, I just didn’t tell you what I ate. Once I ate 2000 calories worth of Mini Eggs, and I didn’t input it. And you know what? I was filled with guilt of not telling you…
I DON’T WANT TO FEEL GUILTY ANYMORE!
When I started this blog I wanted to introduce you to my readers, so they can be our friend too, and follow what I ate, but I’ve decided that I am better off on my own, for now. You never know, I might need you again if I gain back all the weight I lost… but I doubt it. Because I believe I can make it on my own.
I hope that if you do make new friends, they don’t obsess over you like I did. You were damn good when I needed you, but now, I must move on.
Adieu My Fitness Pal, Adieu.
Next week’s letter: Damn you Bob Harper, don’t call me a cheater.