I never wake up in the morning and think, “Self, today I will fail. Today I will let myself down by eating 3 pieces of cake, letting the kids watch too much TV, and not exercise.” Every morning I wake up with the intention that today will be better then yesterday…
But I do not control this life of mine. I am a stay at home mother of two little boys. If one wakes up in the morning on the whiny side of the bed, or even worse in the middle of the night… my day can significantly change. If I am sick, I don’t have sick days. I am at a stage in my life where my life is not my own.
This week was a long one. I was sick. I exercised little and I ate a lot. I failed at my goal (twice).
I am tired of trying and tired of failing.
I just want to scream from the top of my lungs… WHY CAN’T I STOP EATING? What void am I trying to fill? Maybe by writing these thoughts down I can get to the bottom of this problem.
Tomorrow my intention is to just to let it go. Get up and have no expectations for my week ahead. No goals to fail. I am tired of this verbally abusive woman that is living inside my head telling me that I am not good enough, and that I am failing. Enough with Captain Negative. Enough sabotage.
Really? Who am I kidding?
Tomorrow my intention will be the same as yesterday: Today will be better. Today I will try my best (to be perfect).