“Yet I am learning”.

As long as I remember that, everything is O.K. I will make mistakes, some more then once. Some repeatedly. Some days will be more uphill then down. A struggle with every step. Just trying to get by. Others will make me feel invincible, like I could do anything and be anyone I want to be. My biggest struggle with life so far is not understanding why I do the things I do. Why WE do the things WE do. How can I go from being motivated, happy and strong to feeling like the weight on the world is on my shoulders? Why do I expect more out of myself then I can physically (or mentally or emotionally) give, and then beat myself up for not living up to my own expectations. Why can’t I just BE? Why can’t I just look at how far I have come and be happy with my successes instead of focusing on my failures?

What I know for sure is (I stole that one from Oprah)…

My happiness depends on me. Ancora Imparo. I am still learning. My happiness and my success is dependant on me. I must learn from the mistakes of my past and improve, knowing that I might make those mistakes again. I must not blame anyone for my life circumstances. I am here because of me. Only I can control my actions or reactions. Beating myself up won’t help. Blaming others won’t help. You can’t change your past, but you can learn from it. You can’t change who you are but you can acknowledge your weaknesses and try to improve.

It took Michelangelo 4 years to paint the Sistine chapel. He was a sculptor, not a painter and had painted little before he undertook painting the chapel ceiling. He started slow, learning the medium and their were numerous setbacks, but once he got the hang of it, he painted like a man on fire. At the age of 87, Michelangelo was quoted saying “Ancora Imparo” which can be translated into, “Yet I am learning” or “I still learn” or ” I am still learning”.

Moments pass. Good ones and bad. You can only control your own actions, thoughts, attitude. Especially in times of great change, or great struggle. This is when it counts. Don’t stop learning. Don’t stop growing. Don’t stop believing. Just don’t stop.

You can be happy right now. It’s your choice.

“Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel-and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.”
– Esther Hicks