Fear and doubt. My two biggest obstacles. What I think is funny about that is that I have nothing to be afraid of. I live in downtown Ottawa. Under no threat of attack. No wild animals, no lack of food and water. And I don’t know where the self-doubt comes from. I love to play the part of the confident “have it all-do it all” woman. The truth is I have two big fears. As imagined as the fears are, they are very real to me. Until now I could live with them. Push them aside. Make excuses for them. But I have come to realize that I have to make a decision. Going forward in my life I have to decide to face them head on and move closer to my ideal self… or stay the course.

I guess I should tell you what my fears are. These are true, and real to me (please don’t laugh or judge or both)

#1 If I am too healthy I will get sick or die.

#2 If I am too happy something bad will happen.

This is why I sabotage (or is this what I tell myself). As I think about it right now I realize that as much as I realize they might be “fears”, they might be better labelled as “excuses”.

So what is the big deal? We all make excuses.

The thing is that I want to make a real change. I would love to see what life could be life if I didn’t have those fears excuses. Have you ever said to yourself? Self, I wonder what I could be if I gave it my 100%. No more excuses. No fears. Balls to the wall at whatever you wish for yourself. Train hard. Eat clean. Discipline. A plan. A goal.

Stop making excuses.

What have you always wanted but always make excuses for yourself on why you haven’t succeeded, or even tried?

Sometimes we fail so often at something we give up trying. Quitting smoking, quitting drinking, losing weight, getting fit, getting stronger, training for a competition or a race.

Let the failure make you stronger and try again.

Don’t ever give up on your goal. On your dream. Don’t let your fear stop you. Don’t make excuses for why you failed. Don’t compare yourself to others. Race your own race. Don’t let other people distract you. You know what you need to do. You are where you are RIGHT NOW. Make the choice at least to try.

As for me and my fears…

I still am afraid. My fear is quite rational. My mom was fit, and healthy. She got to a point in her life where she had it all, was happy and strong. And she got sick, and she died. But I can’t use her life as an excuse for mine. Bad things will happen. Life ain’t all roses and sugarplums. But I can’t wait on the sidelines and wait for life to happen.

The time is now.