As I wrote that title I got a little teary. I never thought I would say those words.
I have found peace.
The goal of this blog was to find balance with food and exercise in my life. In the last few years I have found much more, the most important being inner peace. The reason it makes me teary to write those words is because I never thought I could find that. Have I found balance? Hell no… But finding peace was what I was looking for. Sometimes you find something you didn’t know you were looking for. In my quest to becoming a butterfly I realized that I was a butterfly all along… just didn’t have the wings to see it.
What does finding peace mean to me?
I no longer beat myself up for what I eat. I eat what I want. I don’t count calories. I make the right choices most of the time because I want to feel good in my skin. There are no “illegal” foods. There are no rules. I know the trigger foods that make me feel yucky in the tummy. Sometimes I indulge and eat them. I don’t feel bad, or guilty. I enjoy every minute of it. Sometimes I eat for the wrong reasons. Last night I inhaled some dried mango because my kid was screaming and I was tired. I’m working on that. Sometimes I have regret but I don’t beat myself up about it. My body usually will do that for me.
I am at peace with my body. I love myself how I am and I am proud of my accomplishments. I don’t weigh myself. I know some of you who are struggling with weight are saying “Easy to say when you look the way you do”. What people need to understand is that body image issues and food issues don’t disappear once you get “skinny”. They stay with you haunting you… Nothing is ever good enough… Until you find peace.
I am a work in progress.
We all are. But we all have one life to live and I am tired of living a life where I am constantly beating myself up. I ditched my inner bully. And even though she knocks at my door once in a while, I am learning that she does nothing good for me.
Balance doesn’t mean perfection
We are all imperfectly perfect. Embrace who you are and all your “imperfections”. Be happy with who you are. Make mistakes. All my mistakes have brought me to a place that I never believed I could achieve. Don’t be a bully. We have the media and advertising to do that for us. Find peace. Love yourself no matter what you put in your mouth. There are SO many bigger things to worry about then what you eat and the size of your clothes.
Trust yourself and your future and enjoy life in the moment. You never know what tomorrow will bring.