Some people in your life bring you up. They support you. They are there when you need them. A warm hug, a good cry, and sometimes even some “get real” with you to help you when you need to hear it most. Those friends and family are important for your moral and emotional support. There are other “friends” in your life who bring you down. They make you make the wrong decisions. They are bad influences when it comes to your life and as “supportive” as they feel at the time, they are masking their bad influence on you as “support”. They really are not your friend. O.K. Fine. Sometimes they make you the life of the party and make you feel on top of the world. They help you with your confidence and self-esteem. They are always there to help you get through a rough day when no one else is around or no one cares. But really THEY ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. These are the type of people you need to be weary of. They are hard to get rid of because they are ALWAYS AROUND. Always there when you are weak and they make you believe you need them.
I am trying to saying goodbye to them. Trying to get them out of my life. For now. Or for always. It’s hard to push away a friend that has been there for you your whole adult life and another who has been there for you since you were a child. Alone in the school yard with the comfort of this “friend”.
We all have friends like these. They come in different forms. Sugar, Alcohol, Tobacco.
Alcohol is the friend who makes you feel confident and social. Sugar is the one who is there when you are sad, tired and frustrated. Tobacco is the abusive partner who beats you up but then tells you he’s sorry and that he loves you and wants you back. And you usually take him back in your weakest moments. When you are vulnerable.
I have been friends with all three in my life.
I said goodbye to the abusive boyfriend a while back and it was the best decision I have ever made in my life. Once in a while when I am super stressed he still comes back to try and hook me back but I now know better. I am free. I have not gone back.
But the other two have been harder to let go of. It is a work in progress. Changing habits. New friends. New life. But for me it is worth it. Because the “real” friends in my life really bring me up.
So if you have a friend like that think about all they have done for you. Why you feel you “need” them. What have they done for you? Are they worth it?
It feels like you are talking directly to me. Great post! a real eye opener. Thanks for sharing.
I was just talking about this the other day. So funny that you posted everything I was thinking and talking about. I’ve managed to stop spending time with the people who bring me down but there are some that remain for various reasons. I think we get better at it as we get older!
My mother used to call cigarettes her friend. They killed her.
Trust the path that you are on. You are walking it for a reason. Whether it is to teach you something, or to help someone else, it will all be made clear one day. You are doing great. xo
Thanks. Can’t look back. Just stay present and remember why I am doing it.