Day 27 of 30. Today was a success masked as failure. Time to dust myself off and keep going.
There is no doubt in my mind that I will successfully complete this 30 day of sobriety. It wasn’t hard (or I say that now at the end of the journey or almost) and it was transforming, but not at all in the way I expected it to be. My expectation, or hypothesis for this experiment, was a little unrealistic but I did not know that at the time.
HYPOTHESIS: Through working self-discipline in one chosen area (alcohol) the habits in all other areas would fall into place leading to an increase in total discipline.
What actually happened was that my increased self-discipline in the one area (alcohol) eventually lead to a DECREASE in self-discipline in other areas of my life (food and exercise). This is not a lab, and there were lots of other contributing factors associated with the results, but the results are pretty obvious to me. My discipline in the REGULATED area, lead to decreased discipline in UNREGULATED AREA.
NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SEE.
Failure? Absolutely not. COMPLETE SUCCESS. A negative result is sometimes what you need for real breakthroughs. Dissapointed? A little. More work to be done.
CAN’T CHANGE IT. OWN IT.
In the face of “failure” or setback you have two choices. Give up or show up.
CHOICE ONE: GIVE UP
In the past I would have told myself I was a failure and I should just give up and move on. Buy my first class ticket to Loserville. Population 1. It’s too hard. It’s too much work. I am a failure.
PLEASE… SPARE ME THE DRAMA.
Failure is a stepping stone to success. In fact, most real success comes from real failures. If you read biographies about successful people they usually have BIG FAILURES in their past. The difference between them and the unsuccesful people was that they did not use that as a reason to buy a ticket to Loserville. They used the failure as a lesson and a drive to work harder to reach their goals. I’m sure there were days where they wanted to sit in bed and eat bonbons and feel sorry for themselves. But they somehow picked themselves up and went back to work. The key is ACCEPTING YOUR SITUATION. This is where you are. You had a setback. You didn’t reach your goal. Can’t change it. You are worse off then when you started? Can’t change it. If you want to live the life of your dreams you can NEVER EVER GIVE UP. The exit to Loserville is closed my friends. Take a moment, feel your pain and move on. Time to get back onto the Bridge to Freedom. Dust yourself off and move the F on.
CHOICE TWO: SHOW UP
Use your failure as a drive to keep going. Take a moment to learn from your mistake and reset your goals if needed. Where they unrealistic or are you not committed enough? What is the reason for the failure?
To show up means to dust yourself up every time and never giving up. If you get on the path to Loserville (and believe me I was on it today) you need to reset and regroup and get back onto your road to freedom. Use the tools we have learned through our 30 days, change your mindset from loser to winner and carry on.
- Accept where you are. Can’t change it. Own it.
- Be present in your life right now. Write down the things you are grateful for. Focus on the good. Think about how far you have come.
- Review your goals. Review your “WHY”. Why are those goals important to you? How will they impact your life in a positive way?
- Reset your intentions. Get fired up about your life. This is the only one you have.
- Change your mindset from loser to winner. Use meditation, affirmations, visualizations and think like a winner again.
- Take action. Create momentum. This is sometimes the hardest part. Do one thing to move your towards your goals. Want to get fit? Get off your ass and go to the gym for 15 minutes. Take a walk. Sweat a little. Do something to bring you closer. If you need more motivation HIRE A COACH. What to eat better? Change one meal today that is healthy. Do that every day. Whatever you need to do in your life the time is NOW. Don’t waste another day. You are in control.
The key is to remember that you are the only person that can get the momentum going. When the wind is out of your sails, or the wheels fall off the wagon, you are the only one that can fix it. No one is going to take you by the ears and drag you to the gym. No one is going to force feed you healthy food. Whatever you have to do just get up and start doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING to help move you in that direction. It is always hard before it gets easy but I promise you once you start moving, it will create the momentum you need to keep moving.
The key is to let go of all your failures, and your past shortcomings and believe that you will do better. The more you try the more you learn and the easier it will get. The only person who has no chance of reaching their goals is the one who stops trying.
BELIEVE AND NEVER EVER GIVE UP.
“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” –Pablo Picasso