My intention when I started this blog was to write about finding balance with food and exercise, but has become much more than that. When I first started writing, I had recently lost my “post-baby” weight and was exercising regularily again. I wanted to chronicle my struggles of trying to maintain the weight loss and finding balance. What I have come to realize was that my struggle was deeper than food. Deeper than exercise. In the last two years I have chronicled a major life transformation. The process of changing from “who I was” to “who I am”.

I am in transition.

I am struggling with the new reality that is my life. I am thankful for the struggle because I know it is bringing me to closer to me. I have moments of darkness, when the doom and gloom sets in, but I know that I will get through it as long as I remember one thing…

I cannot control any thing but my own actions, my own thoughts. Life will let me down. People will let me down. Even the ones that I love the most. I will be rejected. I will make mistakes. I will be afraid.

I choose to be happy, no matter what life brings. My life is perfectly imbalanced. Perfectly imperfect.

The last three years have been the biggest transformational years of my life. The last six months have been a blur of change and transformation and it is only the beginning.

So this is not about fitness, or food. It is about balance. It is about finding the balance between good and evil, happy and sad. It is about finding happiness now. It’s about appreciating everything I have… the good, the bad and the uncontrollable.

This is about my life. I only exist now.