The Day EVERYTHING changed

I no longer write in this blog because I made a decision on January 8, 2016 to change my subconscious mind. As real and authentic as I presented myself in this blog, I was enforcing a negative mindset and negative behaviours and feeding my subconscious into believing that was my reality. But the reality was that I could change those thoughts and behaviours and feed a different more positive and successful me. I changed my focus and wrote down my goals and dreams to become a more disciplined, focused and less “emotional” and I decided to change who I was from the inside out. I changed the way I thought, the way I spoke to myself, and most importantly of all, I found my self-worth.

I decided that I would create and live the life of my dreams. That I would become the person I always “wished” to become. And I did. The journey, and my life, is just beginning as I fertilize this new seed of my subconscious mind and grow to achieve my dreams and become the strongest version of myself. You can read more about it on my new BLOG or subscribe to my mailing list on my website www.miakakebeeke.com

My wish for you is that you find your self-worth and start creating the life of your dreams. My wish for you is that you wake up each day with purpose, joy and that you do something every day to improve your life and live it to the very fullest.

We only have one life. Don’t wait another day.

With love and gratitude,

Mia

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Stop Being An Eeyore. Start Living the Life of your Dreams.

Hi!

New blog post is up on the new site.

“Living the life of your dreams isn’t about perfection. It isn’t the perfect body and six pack abs. Living the life of your dreams isn’t about running through fields like in “The Sound of Music”. It isn’t having perfect well behaved children or dogs, being the perfect parent, lover, daughter or friend. You will not find the life of your dreams on a scale, nor can you buy it, inject it, smoke it or drink it.”

Read more here.

With love and Gratitude,

Mia

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Out with the old and in with the new

Check out my new blog post on my new website…

Teaching an Old Dog New Tricks

Subscribe to my newsletter on the website and get my posts delivered with your morning coffee or tea.

My purpose in life is to help as many people become the strongest version of themselves.

Are you ready for the NEXT LEVEL?

I will be starting a new HABIT CHANGE program soon! Looking to get to the next level and need some guidance?

Stay Tuned!

With Love and Gratitude,

Coach Mia

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Time for a reset? Again?

NOTE: BIG NEWS IN THIS POST… KEEP READING.

How stuffed are you from Easter? I sure feel like a stuffed bunny. No regrets. No guilt. There is nothing better then spending time with my family, indulging on wine and chocolate. I even brought my sister to her first CrossFit class. This weekend was EPIC.
This is usually the day were I used to go HAM. Clean up my act. Start over. Reset. But I don’t do that anymore (thanks partly to Summer Innannen, who’s name has more n’s then e’s in mine KAKEBEEKE.. impressive).

Well, I will… but I won’t.

You see it’s all about your mindset. For me every day is a reset. Every day my intention is to eat well, and do my best to live a healthy life. My purpose in life is to be the strongest version of myself and help find others find the strongest version of themselves. To be strong I need energy. To have energy I have to fuel my body in the best possible way. This means lots of  raw fruits and veggies, healthy fats and protein, and lots of water. This includes CARBS. And it includes wine and chocolate once in a while (cause a girl needs to live).
My intention EVERY DAY is to make the best choices. I know what makes me feel good and what makes me feel like I have a big rock in my belly. I know what gives me energy and I know what makes me want to nap all afternoon. I know that too much wine makes me want to watch too many episodes of the Mindy Project, instead of doing what I REALLY WANT TO DO, which is build my business to help people become the strongest versions of themselves.

I make choices, not rules.

I choose health. I don’t cheat on myself when I make NO COMMITMENT to any “diet”. I am free to pick and choose any food I want, if I so choose with ZERO guilt. I may not be committed to a DIET but I am committed to my HEALTH.

All that today to say that I will be trading the chocolate bunnies for some better choices today, because I feel like I might deliver some baby bunnies…

But I am also delivering SOMETHING ELSE!!!!

BIG NEWS. 

I am officially launching my new website www.coachmia.com. I will continue blogging from HERE from now on. I will also be starting launching some motivational videos (and potentially dancing videos) and I am on the verge of finishing my first e-book (or can we just call them books now?). If you sign up for my website right now I will set you up with my KICKSTART GUIDE TO THE STRONGEST VERSION OF YOU. You will also get updates and heads ups on my videos and blogs (and for sure will see some of my dance moves).

*** When you subscribe the confirmation email sometimes goes to the “Junk” folder. IT IS NOT JUNK! You need to confirm your email before you get my news… And if you don’t hear from me for 24 hours after you subscribe something went wrong. Email me directly to let me know miathecoach@gmail.com***

THE TIME IS NOW

Just an FYI to Ottawa residents. I have officially opened my B.U.F.F. training which will begin the week of May 11th.

BODYWEIGHT URBAN FUNCTIONAL FITNESS

If you struggle with bodyweight exercises and cardio fitness and recovery (i.e. suck at running, especially running fast), and love to be outside then you might want to check it out HERE. It runs for 7 weeks and is a good little addition to your “regularly scheduled programming” as it is less then 12$/session.

I realize that lots of you are on the other side of the world. I really wish you could join us as well… but back and forth could get a little PRICEY!

LIFE IS SO EXCITING!!!! MAKES ME WANT TO DANCE!!!!

Thanks for listening! If I wanted you to remember ONE THING about this post it would be this:

TODAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE. ACT LIKE IT.

Don’t wait until tomorrow. Start now. It’s on YOU.

Live in congruence with who you want to be. And if you need help… you now know where to find ME.

With Gratitude, Love and Belief in YOU,

Coach Mia

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Success in the Instalife

What is your definition of success? Wealth? Health? Happiness? A nice house? A good job? Lots of money?

In this world of social media and global communication it is hard to find true success. The measure of success in this day and age is so different then it was in the past. Ideas are global. Celebrity culture is rampant. Music videos (ok that makes me feel old that I wrote that first), Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram… There is always someone stronger then you, wealthier then you, smarter then you. etc. Everyone is an author, an artist or an entrepreneur. You hear everyones opinion’s, information is rampant and half of it is bullshit, un-researched or just plain ignorant.

So how do  you measure success? Success to me is finding your inner strength and living your true potential. Believing in your own ideas, being authentic and breaking through the resistance of people telling you that it isn’t going to work. Success can lead to great wealth and great health but there is a caveat. If you let go of other things in your life, your family, your friends, integrity, honesty, kindness in pursuit of success, then are you truly successful? True success comes when you can counter balance your “success” with the other areas of your life.

MY DEFINITIONS OF SUCCESS

  • Success is progress.
  • Success is doing the work even when you don’t feel like it.
  • Success is doing the work ESPECIALLY when you don’t feel like it.
  • Success is breaking through barriers – defeating the “resistance”
  • Success is believing in yourself and your craft.
  • Success is living your full potential.
  • Success is reclaiming your life agenda.
  • Success is the ability to say no
  • Success is struggling and never giving up.
  • Success is advancing with courage and abandon.
  • Success is slowing time, being completely present and living each moment of your life.

Success will bring you great things:

  • Success will inspire greatness in you and in the people around you.
  • Success will amplifying love for yourself and the people around you.
  • Success will inspire a deep state of gratitude and joy.
  • Success will bring you Personal Freedom.

This can all lead to great wealth, and happiness. Personal Freedom. Not everyone needs to have a yacht, and no one really needs more then one house. But I believe everyone should be FREE. Personal Freedom. Not feeling stuck. 

I was there once. Stuck. No control over some areas of my life. Or at least that is what I believed. Then I found out the ONE THING that changed everything. The one thing that instantly gave me freedom. It was so simple, and was there all along.

I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE, MY THOUGHTS AND MY ACTIONS. 

I could keep telling myself the same bullshit stories about how I was busy with the kids and I didn’t have time to work and I didn’t have time to exercise. Some of my stories were so REAL to me. They protected me from taking ownership of my life. I could never be THAT so I will just sit here and continue eating bonbons and complaining.

Yes I had some rough times. I had days when I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. Go through the blog. I wrote ALL ABOUT THEM.

I USED TO BE A VICTIM OF MY LIFE.

I would tell myself “Just get through the day” . But what kind of life is that???

What if the next day was my last?

My last day was of me eating bonbons while my kids watched tv?

What changed was that I learned how to drive. I learned that I couldn’t control the situations and circumstances of my life, but I could control how I reacted to them. I accepted where I was in all areas of my life, the good, the bad and the ugly and took control and changed the things I could.

THE RANT

I am tired of hearing peoples excuses for why they CAN’T do something. You can if you WORK AT IT. Sometimes REALLY REALLY REALLY hard.

In this INSTALIFE everyone wants something but they don’t want to work at it. That is not the way it works. To learn a skill, develop strength or create a the life that you want will take work, time, guts, courage. You will need to do things that you DON’T REALLY WANT TO DO. You will have to trade instant gratification for long term success. You will have to do things that SCARE YOU, CHALLENGE YOU, BORE YOU. You will fail. You will want to quit. You will fail again. Success is never giving up. Success is believing.

We all have different goals and dreams but the formula for success is the same.

Accept where you are, work hard and keep going. Never stop. You will get there. The only people who don’t succeed are the ones who stop trying. You are in charge. If you lack motivation you need to put in more effort. Motivation will come with action. It will not come and slap you in the face while you lay in bed watching the next episode of Lost.

You are in charge. You can be a victim or you can take control and drive your life into the direction of your dreams.

It isn’t going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

My definition of success is writing this article, even though I know an article about how to get toned and how to get stronger, or how to get a muscle up or how I lost 100lbs would get a lot more hits. Success is believing in your voice. Doing it because it is right and you believe in it. I know what sells. If I put a transformation picture of myself I will get 100 more hits. I’ve lived it and seen it happen. And I will continue my message, as is. If I inspire ONE PERSON to change their life or do something different today then I have done my job.

Today is the most important day of your life. Act like it. 

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DAY 30 – IT’S ALL ABOUT THE JOURNEY

To embark on the journey towards your goals and dreams requires bravery. To remain on that path requires courage. The bridge that merges the two is commitment.”
– Steve Maraboli

I did it! Day 30 was probably the hardest day because I was so close to the end I wanted to celebrate. It’s only ONE day, right? ONE DAY.
One day is the difference between doing what you said you would do and NOT DOING what you said you would do. It’s all about learning to trust yourself. It’s all about setting goals that are achievable and reaching them one by one. It is all about learning to live with the discomfort of following through on your commitments even when you don’t feel like it. Throughout the journey I had some highs and lows. The highs were really high and the lows were sometimes really low. But I followed through on my commitment to myself and I feel proud. Now at the end of the journey you would think I would be sublimely happy. And I am. But something I have learned from this experiment and from the past is that reaching the goal is somewhat anti-climactic. The glory came more from getting through the hard times during the experiment then getting to the end. Waking up every morning and saying. I did it. And above all that writing about it every day. For me, that was part of the journey and of the commitment. Did I feel like writing every day? No. Some days I was uninspired and had a lot of stuff I needed to do. But I did it.

Bravery. Courage. Commitment. 

Taking action to change your life is one of the bravest most courageous step you can take. It requires commitment and a daily reminder of why it is important to you. If you truly want to live your best life you will need to break through barriers that you have set for yourself. Those barriers you have build and rebuild over the years were a shield that protected you from harm. You build them for a reason. They brought you comfort and safety but they also held you back. To break down those barriers takes a lot of courage. It leads to a very scary uncomfortable place. The place that made you build the barriers in the first place. Change is uncomfortable and sometime downright scary. I know from my experience that when I try to break through to my best life and make real changes my body sometimes goes into fight or flight mode. My heart races, my mind doubts and all I want to do is hide or run away. But when I regroup, look at my goals, think about my future and breathe, I know that the fear isn’t real. It is created in my mind, in my body because it doesn’t want to change. Change is like running into an open field with predators surrounding you. You need to dig deep and find your inner lion. The brave, courageous part of you that will face the fears head on. Because it’s hungry and because it’s what it was born to do.

In times of fear I swap my sheep for the lion. I hope that the more I repeat and push through the barriers and fears towards change I can identify with my lion without going into sheep mode. Sheep mode bring anxiety. Anxiety brings doubt. Doubt brings fear. Fear makes you run. But think of this. Why did you wake up this morning? Was it to “get through the day”? What if I told you tomorrow was your LAST DAY. What would you change about today? What I have learned is that your best life is NOW. Wake up every morning with the excitement that you are here and have the possibility to do anything you want. You can’t change where you are. You can’t change your past. You can change your now.

We all know how it ends. It could end tomorrow or you could be living for 10, 20, 30, 60 more years. No one knows. But what we do know is that you only have one life to live. This is it.

LESSONS LEARNED

Here are the results of my experiment. It will be ongoing but for the last 30 days I have made some amazing discoveries. Some I already knew, that were reinforced on this journey. Some were new discoveries that will help me in the future on the path to creating my best life.

  1. Reaching the goal isn’t the best part. Getting through the tough moments is.
  2. Sometimes it isn’t about a “thing” as it is about a behaviour. For me alcohol was the “thing” but I replaced the behaviour with other “things” to compensate.
  3. Changing the way to react to “trigger” situations will lead you to freedom. Getting through the discomfort without reaching for your safety net. Whether it be food, alcohol, procrastination, sex or drugs. It’s about feeling the discomfort and letting it pass.
  4. You are in charge of your life. Your mind will try to take over when you feel discomfort or pain, but you have the power to change that through meditation, affirmations and visualization.
  5. Willpower is always worse when you are tired, stressed and hungry. And when I mean hungry I mean hungry for healthy food. You can fill yourself with junk but your body will stay hungry until you feed it good whole food.
  6. Fear is a state of mind that can be controlled.
  7. Accepting yourself and your story is the first step to freedom and to your best life. The second step is the commitment to change the things you can and to break down the barriers that have been holding you back.
  8. If you wake up every morning not wishing for more, then you are there. Enjoy it!
  9. Live your life with purpose and let that purpose drive you. When things get rough, remember your purpose and do what is right, not what is easy.
  10. It took a lifetime to create the habits you have in your life. If you want to change that it will take courage and commitment and time. It will not happen over night but you can do anything you set your mind to do.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

It’s like after you finish the marathon, or after you have lost 100 lbs, now what? You have reached your goal. Is it time to hang up your runners and return to the sedentary life? Is it time to start eating cake and cookies and chips? Or in my case, tomorrow is St-Patricks day. Should I use that as an excuse to get drunk? The answer is a resounding HELL NO.

You have come this far. Use this momentum to keep growing and changing. You are on the path to change. Maybe take a little breather and enjoy the view from the top, but the bridge isn’t close to being built. You have all the tools, you are already on a roll… keep the momentum going and never stop. Take what you have learned and bring it into the other areas of your life. But if you are to remember one thing from this whole book it would be this. Bite off only what you can chew. In these moments of glory we feel like we can do it all, but we can’t. We need to lean into change. You’ve just run a marathon but you need to keep going up slowly to run the ultra. You just squatted your body weight, but you need to keep training to get to double body weight. Focus on one thing at a time. Prioritize and go for it 100%. Eventually it will all come together. It already has. You are living your best life right now.

And in moments of fear or doubt. Trust yourself. You are the only one in charge. You are the only one that can change your life. Be a lion and remember my mantra:

THERE IS NO FAILURE IN THE LIONS DEN

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing–that’s why we recommend it daily.” –Zig Ziglar

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DAY 27 – THE ART OF LETTING GO

Day 27 of 30. Today was a success masked as failure. Time to dust myself off and keep going.
There is no doubt in my mind that I will successfully complete this 30 day of sobriety. It wasn’t hard (or I say that now at the end of the journey or almost) and it was transforming, but not at all in the way I expected it to be. My expectation, or hypothesis for this experiment, was a little unrealistic but I did not know that at the time.

HYPOTHESIS: Through working self-discipline in one chosen area (alcohol) the habits in all other areas would fall into place leading to an increase in total discipline.

What actually happened was that my increased self-discipline in the one area (alcohol) eventually lead to a DECREASE in self-discipline in other areas of my life (food and exercise). This is not a lab, and there were lots of other contributing factors associated with the results, but the results are pretty obvious to me. My discipline in the REGULATED area, lead to decreased discipline in UNREGULATED AREA.

NOT WHAT I WANTED TO SEE.

Failure? Absolutely not. COMPLETE SUCCESS. A negative result is sometimes what you need for real breakthroughs. Dissapointed? A little. More work to be done.

CAN’T CHANGE IT. OWN IT. 

In the face of “failure” or setback you have two choices. Give up or show up.

CHOICE ONE: GIVE UP

In the past I would have told myself I was a failure and I should just give up and move on. Buy my first class ticket to Loserville. Population 1. It’s too hard. It’s too much work. I am a failure.

PLEASE… SPARE ME THE DRAMA. 

Failure is a stepping stone to success. In fact, most real success comes from real failures. If you read biographies about successful people they usually have BIG FAILURES in their past. The difference between them and the unsuccesful people was that they did not use that as a reason to buy a ticket to Loserville. They used the failure as a lesson and a drive to work harder to reach their goals. I’m sure there were days where they wanted to sit in bed and eat bonbons and feel sorry for themselves. But they somehow picked themselves up and went back to work. The key is ACCEPTING YOUR SITUATION. This is where you are. You had a setback. You didn’t reach your goal. Can’t change it. You are worse off then when you started? Can’t change it. If you want to live the life of your dreams you can NEVER EVER GIVE UP. The exit to Loserville is closed my friends. Take a moment, feel your pain and move on. Time to get back onto the Bridge to Freedom. Dust yourself off and move the F on.

CHOICE TWO: SHOW UP

Use your failure as a drive to keep going. Take a moment to learn from your mistake and reset your goals if needed. Where they unrealistic or are you not committed enough? What is the reason for the failure?

To show up means to dust yourself up every time and never giving up. If you get on the path to Loserville (and believe me I was on it today) you need to reset and regroup and get back onto your road to freedom. Use the tools we have learned through our 30 days, change your mindset from loser to winner and carry on.

  1. Accept where you are. Can’t change it. Own it. 
  2. Be present in your life right now. Write down the things you are grateful for. Focus on the good. Think about how far you have come.
  3. Review your goals. Review your “WHY”. Why are those goals important to you? How will they impact your life in a positive way? 
  4. Reset your intentions. Get fired up about your life. This is the only one you have.
  5. Change your mindset from loser to winner. Use meditation, affirmations, visualizations and think like a winner again. 
  6. Take action. Create momentum. This is sometimes the hardest part. Do one thing to move your towards your goals. Want to get fit? Get off your ass and go to the gym for 15 minutes. Take a walk. Sweat a little. Do something to bring you closer. If you need more motivation HIRE A COACH. What to eat better? Change one meal today that is healthy. Do that every day. Whatever you need to do in your life the time is NOW. Don’t waste another day. You are in control.

The key is to remember that you are the only person that can get the momentum going. When the wind is out of your sails, or the wheels fall off the wagon, you are the only one that can fix it. No one is going to take you by the ears and drag you to the gym. No one is going to force feed you healthy food. Whatever you have to do just get up and start doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING to help move you in that direction. It is always hard before it gets easy but I promise you once you start moving, it will create the momentum you need to keep moving.

The key is to let go of all your failures, and your past shortcomings and believe that you will do better. The more you try the more you learn and the easier it will get. The only person who has no chance of reaching their goals is the one who stops trying.

BELIEVE AND NEVER EVER GIVE UP. 

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” –Pablo Picasso

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Day 24 – The “Permission” Decision

*I am on day 24 of training my willpower. 24 of 30 days with no booze. This day was one I wanted to share as the lesson was powerful. choice

Day 24 was interesting. I realized something about myself. I have a threshold. Let me explain. I was shopping for shoes in the last two hours that the stores were open for shoes that I desperately needed to get for a conference THE NEXT DAY (today). I was in a little bit of a panic. I was distracted and on the phone when I walked into clothing store A (NOT A SHOE STORE). I proceeded to look at a bunch of clothes that I DID NOT DESPERATELY NEED but were SO AWESOME. Jogging pants. Perfect business attire, no? I should mention that I had asked a friend of mine if she could lend me some clothes for the conference so I did not have to go shopping for clothes. She did and I had the perfect outfit planned. All I needed was shoes. DRESS SHOES. Not jogging pants. 

After trying on the pants, I decided I wanted them, and that my boyfriend needed new boxer shorts and I made my first purchase. I knew that I didn’t NEED any of it but I decided to go ahead and do it anyways. And that changed the course of the whole evening.

I ended up purchasing a whole new “business outfit” in store B and then proceeded to almost buy a pair of boots (that were WAY out of my price range) in store C. I settled for some ballet flats (the only thing I originally needed) and some socks to go with the outfit. Then I proceeded to go downstairs to look at the spring jackets. I had seen one that I REALLY liked a couple weeks ago and wanted to try it on again. I did but by then I was tired and I realized that I had totally blown my budget. So I went home, jacketless.

Does this resonate with you? The decision. Let’s change the first clothing purchase decision to one about FOOD, ALCOHOL, PROCRASTINATION. Have you ever made that decision to go against what you should do in the moment and then not have the control to stop?

  • I’m just going to have ONE COOKIE
  • I’m just going to have ONE DRINK
  • I’m just going to check my Facebook ONCE and then keep working

It is something that has been a pattern for years… and usually leads to multiple bad decisions. For example, I did not leave the mall without buying some ice cream. I had actually had ice cream earlier but I had given myself permission to make crazy purchases… Why stop there?

  • I’m going to have one drink, maybe two… and then let’s order some fries
  • I’m going to have one cookie, maybe two… want to order pizza?
  • I’m going to check facebook, check out that add for shoes… I’m just going to order these then get back to work.

Do you see the trend?

GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION

Once you give yourself permission for one thing, it generally leads to more permissive behavior. And that is what willpower training is all about. Learning to say NO to the FIRST bad decision that you make. That will ALWAYS lead to a better outcome. If you are lacking self control and discipline in your life then this is more likely to happen NO MATTER WHAT the circumstances are. Once you give yourself permission it tells your mind you are in a free for all and it takes advantage of that. If you say NO from the beginning you have the control. The truth is YOU ALWAYS HAVE CONTROL but once you make that first decision, and you allow yourself to lose control, it can lead to disastrous consequences… and then feeling of shame and guilt and remorse.

The key is to be able to see the WHY? Why am I doing this? Do I really need this? Is this decision in agreement with my goals and dreams? If the answer is yes, then go for it. If the answer is no you have to dig deeper and ask yourself if it is really needed. Is the purchase/drink/food that you want now going to give you more joy than NOT having it later? If you have the one, can you stop at one?

As I go through this journey I realize I have come a long way but I have a lot of work still to do. Is 30 days enough to change what I have conditioned my body and mind to do for the past 39 years? I know that I learned a lesson today. The next time this happens I will be more aware of how my decision will affect the rest of my day and I hope that it is a different one.  Spending money that I don’t really have, on clothes that I didn’t really need was not living my best life. Funny thing is at the time I thought that I needed those clothes, and I actually do. I do not have ONE outfit to wear for a business or non casual event. I wore sneakers to a funeral in the summer. However, it is HOW I went about it that changes everything. Instant gratification and on the spot decisions that will affect the rest of my life. Or will they?

What I need to do now is reset and move the F on. Back to the affirmations about self-discipline. LESSON LEARNED.

I am in complete control of my thoughts, my actions and my life. Every day I improve my willpower through persistent practice and my willpower becomes stronger. Exercising self-control gives me an immense feeling of accomplishment. I acknowledge my resistance and move forward. I am in charge of my behaviors and actions. I am in charge of my life. 

Actionable item day 24 – Write out the above self-discipline affirmation on a small card (or your own affirmation) and put it in your wallet. Take it out and read it when you are making a decision that might lead to permissive behaviour. If you do make that first decision, then read it after. Be completely aware of “permissive” behaviour and stop it in it’s tracks.

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DAY 14- REPLACE PERFECTION WITH ACCEPTANCE

For the last 14 days I have been working on my self-discipline and writing about it every day. I quit drinking 14 days ago. I don’t know if it is for good, or for now, but I wanted to take 30 days to test it out. Here is my entry for day 14:

10862717_10203605141269987_5358158054054574469_oI’ve started to notice my self-discipline improving in other areas of my life. I know there are other things that I need to work on, especially my ability to say no, but I know that doing too much will overwhelm me, or maybe not. Working on my self-discipline is obviously rubbing off on other areas of my life. I can feel myself getting stronger. Not perfect, but better. I accept where I am and I am working towards where I want to be. As much as I want everything to fall into place at once I am realistic in knowing that it can’t happen as fast as I want it to. It will take time. It will take effort. Just like training for a marathon or learning a new skill. Build muscle and stamina little by little, one run or skill at a time.

For many years of my life I wanted to be perfect with my habits. I would go through what I would call deprivation phases, or I would do diets, exercise programs, cleanses to “clean up my act”. As great as they sometime were at the time, eliminating everything at once not only made me miserable, it also was TOO MUCH willpower to use at once. Once I was “done” or I quit I would go back to my old ways WITH A VENGEANCE. I call that my indulgence phase. Food, alcohol, caffeine. Maybe not right away but eventually. It would be like running a marathon before you trained for it. Could you imagine how your body would feel? Do you think you would even make it through the race? If not physically then mentally?

The same will happen to your willpower if you do too much too soon. As badly as you want to change your life in all the areas of your life you will need to work on one thing at a time. As you change your habits one by one you will be building your willpower in a way that is sustainable and successful. Just like training for a marathon you will be able to not only complete the race but you will have a “good time” because you aren’t being overwhelmed by being overly disciplined. For me those cleanses usually ended up making me sick as I was under eating and overtraining in the gym. It’s all about training your habits one by one and leaning into the change you want to see in your life. Starting with THE BIG ONE.

THE HIERARCHY OF HABITS

We all have an idea of what we would like our lives to look like. Some are closer then others to achieving that. Imagine yourself there. My vision has been the same for a while:

  • Eat whole foods
  • Drink alcohol on occasion but never in large quantities
  • Drink water
  • Take vitamins
  • Exercise regularily but not to excess
  • Stretch and mobilize every day
  • Floss and brush my teeth
  • Call and visit my family regularly
  • Spend time with my children
  • Be more disciplined with my children (i.e. learn to say no)
  • Take time for myself
  • Work on my finances and my budget
  • Meditate, read affirmations and do visualizations

The list goes on but you get the idea. Lots to do. What I’ve come to realize is that I will never be perfect in all my habits. When I am focusing on one thing the others tend to be left behind. For example, right now I am writing and working on building my business. It takes a lot of time and energy, and along with raising my boys I don’t have as much time to focus on food preparation. I am also not drinking. So I eat out a little more, which is not ideal. Also my house isn’t as clean as I would like it to be, not even close to it. When I was at home with my kids and not working, I would be prepping meals, cleaning and taking care of the kids 24/7 but I didn’t have to worry about making money at all. I would also have a glass of wine at the end of a long day. When you know what your goals are, you know what your priorities are. You can’t do it all. You need to learn to counterbalance the “other stuff” with the “BIG stuff”, which is whatever you are focused on right now.

So if your goal is to be the BEST YOU how do you go about it? 

We all have one thing that we know we need to change. We all have that one thing that is nagging that you have wanted to change in the past but keep on falling short. Or you haven’t tried. Quitting smoking, quitting drinking (or cutting down), eating well, exercising more, being more spiritual. I’ve always known mine was alcohol related but every time I did a cleanse or tried to stop drinking I was also trying to eat well and exercise along with it. This time I focused on the one thing and let the others go. Guess what happened? The others naturally fell into place. With my increased self-discipline around alcohol I naturally started to have more discipline around my other habits. But the great thing was that it didn’t matter. If I wanted to eat cake or candy or chips I could. Everything feels doable because I am not restricting too much at once that I feel overwhelmed. Improvement not perfection.

The trick is to be ready for THE BIG ONE. As much as you know that quitting smoking or drinking or eating well and exercise will change your life you need to be ready and committed to that change. I promise you it will change your life for the better. I promise you that you will not regret doing it, in fact, you will have wished you did it sooner. But I can also tell you that it will not be easy. It will require you to be uncomfortable. There will be moments it will feel unbearable. You might want to quit. But you won’t. You cannot fail.

So what habit you choose is important. If you have a lot to pick from because you are far away from your goal, then pick the one that will make the biggest difference in your life. The one that will make everything easier. If you aren’t ready for that one, then pick something small and work your way there. It might be less uncomfortable. Walk instead of run if that is where you are. You will be running in no time, as long as you don’t run too fast or too far too soon. Pace yourself. We are in it for the long haul. The rest of your life.

It is important that right now you surrender to where you are and acknowledge how far you have to go. Change will have to happen and it will not be always be easy. But if you remind yourself of your goals and WHY you want to achieve them then the discomfort will be a reminder of that. You are working at being great rather then mediocre, and by knowing that, you can celebrate the discomfort rather then dread it.  Discipline is bringing you closer to what you love, to who you want to be and the life you have always imagined.

Embrace the change. Celebrate the discomfort.

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Diet Free and Loving Life (and getting muscle ups)

If you ever told me that I would be OK with my body I would have laughed in your face a year ago. It didn’t matter how “good” I looked to others it was NEVER ENOUGH for me. Diet after diet after diet. Failure after failure after failure. Then something changed. I remember sitting down to write in this blog and I realized I was in a cycle. History kept repeating itself. For things to change I had to do something different.

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”
– Tony Robbins.

First I realized I had a problem. No matter how good I looked I never felt like I looked good. I was always wanting more, and the scale was my krypto_mg_1612nite. I would weight myself every day and my self esteem and body image that day was based on that number. If it was high, I was low… and vice versa.

I had met Summer at the Masters of Movement Week in Toronto and I loved her talk and I signed up for her Rock Your Body program. I honestly signed up because I thought it would bring me to my “NEXT LEVEL BODY” but it did much more.

It taught me that I was enough. It taught me to love myself today. I threw away my scale and learned to listen to my body and feed her when she was hungry. I stopped dieting and started living. Now that I wasn’t obsessing about food my brain had more “free space” to focus on other important matters.

DESA7238The other thing that came out from it was that I learned to TRUST MYSELF with food for the first time in years. And since I trusted myself more I went for it and started trusting myself in other areas of my life. My job, my dreams and goals… I was ready to conquer it all.

The greatest thing of all is that my body is happy now. She isn’t perfect but she is happy because I don’t abuse her anymore with deprivation then binging. And to prove a point I weighed myself one last time. The two pictures were taken 2 years apart. In one of them I was 15 lbs HEAVIER then the other. I could also run faster, lift more weights and was happier then I have ever been… and I was free.

AND I GOT MY MUSCLE UP WHEN I WAS AT MY “HEAVIEST”. Bullshit to all the trainers who try to say that you can’t get a pull-up because you need to lose weight!

So if you are ready to ditch your diet and learn to trust yourself please check out my friend Summer’s program out. She now has a FREE Rock Your Body Video Series. Check it out HERE.

Love your body now. Stop waiting for life to happen. Make it happen. Be happy NOW!

P.S. I realize I said I wasn’t bloggin here anymore but until my new site is complete… I NEED AN OUTLET TO EXPRESS MYSELF…

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